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30 Lessons I Learned Before 30 (part 1)

This year on May 31st I turned 30! And as a way of marking the past decade worth of lessons in life and in business I have put together this list. I use various lists to organise my life, from goals for the businesses, to daily to do lists, to habits I'd like to form. This lists purpose is to record key realisations about life, in order to live better this coming decade. You can use it to reflect against your current experiences to see if a lesson or two are useful for you. 

With love, Kalkidan. 

1. It's best to move around the world with an open and unexpecting heart. 

I solo backpacked in my early 20', I would often find myself in places I knew little about without the full resources to navigate them. I would be highly reliant on kind strangers to point me in the right directrion, provide a meal, or provide a sense of saftey. I learnt that although there is good reason for caution in most places. The majority of people are kind in the moment, and receiving this kindess is a deeply humanising experience. Now that I am older and more settled I try to find opporunities to repay the kindess I experienced to those who need it now. 

2. Poverty is the direct result of the hoarding of value, often intergenerationally, and internationally and often with the help of the state by the richest indivudals in a group and very little else.

As a student I studied poverty in the traditional way, from a polticial, geographical, social and economic perspective. I learnt how minised access to credit can limit the economic development of individuals, regions and countries. How reliance of the export of homogenous goods can result in uncompetitive industires for much of the global poor. How malnutrition can result in poor students underperforming in school. However these models did not explain poverty, but instead describe it.  

What i was not taught was how in purusing their economic and social interests the rich will expect complete malabitiy from the poor. Whether that be in accepting surpressed wages, worsened environmental conditions, or an even shrinking share of common resources. Poverty is the result of the hoarding of value from the rich against the poor. 

 

3. Bodily automony is a human instinct. 

With Roe V Wade being overturned in the US, growing 'pro-life' protests in the UK and a plethora of countries who ban the right to abortion it feels as though the scope of what rights we debate is growing in the direction of dogma. 

However, from my own experience and that of countless friends around the world. The deeper truth is that given freedoms (and not just our legal freedoms but the agency we hold as indivudals) we will direct actions according to our intent for self-actualisation. Every time. 

4. Long lasting romantic love is familar 

Call me a romantic but I've always subscribed to the idea of love laid out in the Plato's symposium. That human being once were joined to the partners as creatures with four arms and four legs, who frocklied and had so much fun that the gods split them in too. For them to spend their lives searching for their other half in order to feel content again. 

When I fell in love this was affirmed. In a matter of days one summer I met someone who felt incredible familar, and acted like it. We cooked together, took bags full of unworn clothes to the chairty shop, cycled to the edge of the beach and ate pizza. We held hands and spoke our internal monologues out loud and we listend. What felt unique was how our lives, our personhoods, and everything else seems to fit into the other with a deep sense of ease. 

5. Romantic Love is not a substition for self love

In most cultures women in particular are driven to find in a partner many of the things that they can create for themselves. Whether this is stability in life, new experiences, or self worth. However there are some things that can only be given to yourself. Starting from understanding yourself, to learning how to advocate for yourself to developing a kind and patient form of self love that drives you to live a life of self worth. 

 

That completed part 1! I am writing this from the most goregous AirBNB (which I totally recommend by the way) as part of my annual break and will be spending the rest of my day searching for fish in the sea!. 

See you next week for part 2! 

Lots of Love,

 

Kalkidan